At first glance, being a people pleaser doesn’t seem all that bad. It seems noble in fact. You have a person who wants to do things for others and make the lives’ of those around them better. Doesn’t seem so bad, but in reality being a people pleaser can have a serious negative impact on your life and self-esteem. It’s time to stop being a people pleaser. Here are 10 powerful ways to do that.
Start Saying “No”
Start saying no when you can. This powerful two-letter word will bring back control into your life. If you have trouble with this, here are some tips on saying “no”.
Set boundaries for yourself. Decide that there are things you will stop doing. Then stop doing them.
Focus on You
Make a commitment to focus on you. Instead of asking yourself what you can do for someone else, ask what you can do for yourself.
Question Your Fear
Many people are people pleasers because they fear rejection. “Maybe they won’t like me if I stopped doing for them,” they may think. But will this really happen? Question the validity of your fear.
Think About What Your Gaining
If you stop being a people pleaser think about what you will be gaining. You’ll have more time and energy for yourself. More confidence. Less stress and anxiety.
Give Up Control
Being a people pleaser means that you are trying to take some kind of control over the other person’s life. Maybe you want to make them happy, or help make their life easier. That’s all fine, but you have to realize they are responsible for that. Not you. If you want to stop being a people pleaser, let go of control. It’s okay. Things will be fine.
Get Clear On Your Goals
Once you get clear on your goals, you can evaluate whether actions you take either hinder or propel your progress towards them. When you have an urge to be a people pleaser, evaluate that action against your goal. In a lot of cases, you’ll see that it hinders them.
Learn To Handle Criticism
Many people pleasers are afraid to be criticized. They don’t like to feel they are doing something wrong. If this sounds like you, then learn how to handle criticism. Not everyone is going to be pleased with you or your actions or lack of actions. You have no control over that. But you do have control over how you handle it. Click here to learn how to accept criticism.
Improve Your Self-Esteem and Confidence
The more you improve your self-esteem and confidence, the less likely you are to be a people pleaser. Do something daily that makes you feel better about yourself. Read articles, take confidence and self-esteem courses, hire a life coach. Just take action.
Consider Someone Is Taking Advantage Of You
Did it ever occur to you that maybe someone is taking advantage of your kindness? As you increase your self-esteem and confidence, you’ll begin to see more clearly those who are toxic in your life.
It’s going to take time to stop being a people pleaser. Things aren’t going to change overnight. But if you practice these strategies, your life, and self-esteem will change for the better over time.